Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Searching for a golf partner

Finding a golfing partner is almost as hard as finding life partner-at least it has been for me. I have had a few guys that I would consider my golfing partners over the years. These are guys who are available at the drop of a hat to go play a round of golf, guys who think of asking you when they have a special golf event, or when they need a partner for a team event. The problem is that circumstances change and people move away, and it seems like I am always looking for a golf partner.

Here are my guidelines when looking for a golf partner: (They are similar to what you would look for in a life partner.)

1. A passion for the game. This means that they have to be thinking about playing golf even when they are not playing just like you need to be thinking of your partner when you are not with them. They set up a time to play again as soon as possible just like you would set up a date with someone important.

2. Similar schedules to facilitate getting together as much as possible. Need I say more.

3. Sense of humor. In golf, like life we have to be able to laugh at ourselves and at others.

4. Complimentary personality. I look at this 2 ways. First, you need to have similar personalities to get along, but I also feel that you need to look for things that you can complement your partner on-then do it! Sometimes it is hard to get the focus off of yourself, but when you do the partnership is better.

5. Tempered competiveness. It is ok to be competive with your partner, but when the game is done always shake hands and say nice game. Remember, it is just a game and just like with your partner, it is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Although I once heard the quote, "Golf is not just a game, it is much more important than that."

6. Honesty. Golf is the only game where you call penalties on yourself because sometimes you are the only one who sees it. Nothing is worse than playing with someone who tries to cheat by moving his ball or saying he got a lower score than what he actually got. The same is obviously true about your relationship with your spouse. If you screw up, admit it and call a penalty on yourself and apologize.

7. Have fun. It may sound like a simple and easy request, but if you have seen some golfers you will know what I mean. They get angry at the littlest things and swear or throw clubs and it can ruin a perfectly good day. If you didn't hit bad shots, you would be playing with Tiger and Phil and the boys not in Mesa, AZ. In a relationship, sometimes you just have to get over yourself and be glad that you have someone who loves you and puts up with your faults.

8. Being humble about their accomplishments and not bragging about how good they are, and willing teach to try to make the other person better.

9. Work hard and don't give up no matter how bad you are playing. It is no fun for anybody if you are just going through the motions while your partner is trying hard. They can't enjoy the game when they see that you don't care.

10. Be willing to give and take. It doesn't always have to be the same person calling to make a tee time or choosing where and when you play. Both sides need to be involved in making the choices of the partnership.

Nowhere in my list of qualities that I want in a golfing partner is there a requirement that they have to be as good as you, or better than you or worse than you. The same is true about your life partner. It doesn't matter what they look like as long as they have the other qualities on the list. If they don't maybe you need to show them how to be a good partner. I know that if you try to be a good partner, it is easier to find a partner that is willing to be a good partner too.

Play golf!!!