I had some down time today so I decided to go back and read my blogs. I am amazed at the things I wrote about Lesli and me and how I felt last year. Everything I wrote about her and how wonderful she is is true. In many ways she is the most amazing person I know.
Something happened in the last year to change the dynamic in our relationship. After being many people's version of the ideal couple for so long, something changed. We went from being truly happy with everything the other person did to not feeling appreciated, respected or loved. I don't know why it changed or how it changed. It just did. I swear if I could pinpoint what it was that changed, or how to fix it I would.
She was my everything, and I hers! How can you go from that situation to being separated in different states with no plan to get back together??? I wish I knew! We text regularly, and talk from time to time. She says that she is happy and is happy not to feel the pain she has been going through. I tell her I miss her.
She is in Utah being grandma and being with her kids and loving it. I am here going through the motions and missing her. I know it was my decision that put us in this position, so I have no one to blame but myself for that. That doesn't mean I have to like it, and I don't.
I just want to say that I am sorry to all of the ladies who know and love Lesli and who miss her, or will miss her. I know she is coming back to teach her classes each month, but it is not the same. I know my decision is what caused her to look at moving back to Utah to be closer to her grandkids and kids. The only reason she stayed in Arizona for so long is because I like it here and don't want to move to Utah for various reasons. Otherwise, she would have moved sooner so you can thank me for that.
Be sure to get your Lesli fix when she comes each month to keep you going until the next month because we all miss her.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Almost ready for the Senior PGA Tour...
As I was getting ready to retire from the Navy 5 years ago, I had this plan to practice and get ready to go on the Senior PGA Tour when I turned 50. I had been playing a lot and had done well in some local tournaments. I hit the ball as well as anyone, but I didn't have the consistency and tournament experience. I thought if I practiced more and played more tournaments that I could give it a shot although I knew it was a long shot.
In reality, I probably don't have the talent to begin with, and I never practiced like I should have if that was really my dream. You can't just go from not playing any tournaments to playing against guys who have been competing their whole lives. These guys have had people giving them everything from custom fit clubs and equipment to lessons, and have done nothing but play golf their whole lives.
If you look at my profile, you will notice my favorite book is called, "Miracle on the 17th Green." It is a story about a 50 year old man who really doesn't like his job, is having marital problems due to 2 people going their own directions. On Christmas day, in Chicago, he is playing golf alone and all of a sudden he can see the line that he needs to aim to make every putt. He has been a pretty good golfer, but with this new ability to see where he has to hit the putt to make it his confidence grows. He had been toying with the idea to try out for the senior tour before this happened. Now he knows he has to try. Coincidentally, after Christmas he gets laid off from his job, and he sends his money in to go to Q school to try and qualify for the Senior PGA tour.
I would guess that most golfers who have competed and have had some success have had the dream to play golf professionally. I know that I have. I made poor choices in my youth that derailed my chances to get a golf scholarship which was the next step for me. I played with many guys who went on to play golf professionally, and with better choices on my part and a break or two, I might have played professionally as well.
That is why the lure of the senior tour was always in the back of my mind. The problem is that I didn't do the things I needed to do to be ready for it. Life got in the way. It is like that for a lot of us when it comes to the goals we have. We don't do what we need to do to accomplish them, or maybe life just gets in the way. Either way we don't accomplish our goals, or something that we want stays beyond our reach and we miss out. Instead of looking back with regret or sadness, we should look at what we want for the future and focus on it. Make a plan on how you are going to achieve it and make achieving it a priority. Don't let life get in the way if it is something that will make you a better person or make you happy.
In reality, I probably don't have the talent to begin with, and I never practiced like I should have if that was really my dream. You can't just go from not playing any tournaments to playing against guys who have been competing their whole lives. These guys have had people giving them everything from custom fit clubs and equipment to lessons, and have done nothing but play golf their whole lives.
If you look at my profile, you will notice my favorite book is called, "Miracle on the 17th Green." It is a story about a 50 year old man who really doesn't like his job, is having marital problems due to 2 people going their own directions. On Christmas day, in Chicago, he is playing golf alone and all of a sudden he can see the line that he needs to aim to make every putt. He has been a pretty good golfer, but with this new ability to see where he has to hit the putt to make it his confidence grows. He had been toying with the idea to try out for the senior tour before this happened. Now he knows he has to try. Coincidentally, after Christmas he gets laid off from his job, and he sends his money in to go to Q school to try and qualify for the Senior PGA tour.
I would guess that most golfers who have competed and have had some success have had the dream to play golf professionally. I know that I have. I made poor choices in my youth that derailed my chances to get a golf scholarship which was the next step for me. I played with many guys who went on to play golf professionally, and with better choices on my part and a break or two, I might have played professionally as well.
That is why the lure of the senior tour was always in the back of my mind. The problem is that I didn't do the things I needed to do to be ready for it. Life got in the way. It is like that for a lot of us when it comes to the goals we have. We don't do what we need to do to accomplish them, or maybe life just gets in the way. Either way we don't accomplish our goals, or something that we want stays beyond our reach and we miss out. Instead of looking back with regret or sadness, we should look at what we want for the future and focus on it. Make a plan on how you are going to achieve it and make achieving it a priority. Don't let life get in the way if it is something that will make you a better person or make you happy.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Lesli leaving Scrapbooks Etc...
It has been a while since I have posted anything, and it is because life has sped up a bit. At least it seems that way to me. Lesli has quit working at Scrapbooks Etc as an employee, but is still teaching her classes. Quitting her job there was the hardest decision she has had to make in a long time because she has worked there for 8 years, starting as an employee, then was the manager and went back to an employee when her class took off.
As anyone who has ever shopped there knows, Lesli made that store what it is. People would come to the store sometimes just to see Lesli and to get that good feeling that she provides. When a customer thinks that you are the owner of the store because of the customer service, that is the highest compliment an employee can get. She was always front and center knowing customer's names and being involved in their lives. She has the ability to make new friends and make her friends feel like they are her best friend.
As the manager she hired many of the employees who provide similar customer service, and she also discovered and encouraged many of the teachers who have taught there and elsewhere. She was fiercely loyal to the owner when people would try and hire her away. She turned down lucrative offers to work for someone who was opening a scrapbook store.
Now she has the opportunity to use her many talents in a new position that she feels will provide new rewards and growth, so she put in her 2 weeks notice.
So, what does an employer do when "an institution" gives her 2 week notice??? It might surprise you. It certainly surprised me.
As anyone who has ever shopped there knows, Lesli made that store what it is. People would come to the store sometimes just to see Lesli and to get that good feeling that she provides. When a customer thinks that you are the owner of the store because of the customer service, that is the highest compliment an employee can get. She was always front and center knowing customer's names and being involved in their lives. She has the ability to make new friends and make her friends feel like they are her best friend.
As the manager she hired many of the employees who provide similar customer service, and she also discovered and encouraged many of the teachers who have taught there and elsewhere. She was fiercely loyal to the owner when people would try and hire her away. She turned down lucrative offers to work for someone who was opening a scrapbook store.
Now she has the opportunity to use her many talents in a new position that she feels will provide new rewards and growth, so she put in her 2 weeks notice.
So, what does an employer do when "an institution" gives her 2 week notice??? It might surprise you. It certainly surprised me.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
What's up with this???
OK. I know we all love Lesli. She brings joy into the lives of people who know her because she cares about them. She has a beautiful smile and bright and bubbly personality that rubs off on you. I get that. (Actually, I've got that.) When I comment about her and how much I love her and how lucky I am to be her guy, I get more comments than when I blog about golf or crazy ideas that I have.
She definately leads an interesting life, and I am happy to be her sidekick in life and ride her coattails. The ride has been awesome so far and I know it is only going to get better. The comments that I make about partners and putting the time in to make things better all relate to what I try to do with my relationship with Lesli. I don't always succeed at being a good husband and I don't always succeed at being the best Steveo, but I know I always love her and will always keep trying.
Life is good. I didn't always feel that way, but since Lesli has come back into my life I can honestly say that life is good...no, make that GREAT!!!
She definately leads an interesting life, and I am happy to be her sidekick in life and ride her coattails. The ride has been awesome so far and I know it is only going to get better. The comments that I make about partners and putting the time in to make things better all relate to what I try to do with my relationship with Lesli. I don't always succeed at being a good husband and I don't always succeed at being the best Steveo, but I know I always love her and will always keep trying.
Life is good. I didn't always feel that way, but since Lesli has come back into my life I can honestly say that life is good...no, make that GREAT!!!
Monday, October 8, 2007
Golf is like life
I played in my monthly Chase golf tournament last weekend and did about as good as I usually do. I have been pretty busy this summer and really haven't been able to play or practice, so my game is pretty rusty when I play in these tournaments, so my score reflects it.
This is a lot like life. If we don't put the time or energy into the things that are important to us, we can't expect to have good results. Sometimes, we may get lucky or we may have a lot of talent which can get us by once in a while, but usually you get what you earn. You have to practice to be good at anything you want to do. This investment of time is proportionally rewarded with your score, but it has to be quality time and practice. You need to practice with a purpose and not just hit balls. Have a goal in mind that you want to accomplish each time you practice. There is an old phrase that goes, "The more I practice, the luckier I get."
In life, like golf, to have a good relationship you have to put quality time into it. You can't just show up and expect everything to happen just like you want. You will struggle to make things work, wishing you would have put the time in. Again, it has to be quality time and not just showing up and going through the motions.
We all go through the motions from time to time, but in order to improve we need to put quality time and effort into whatever is important to us. Otherwise, we won't get as lucky. :-)
This is a lot like life. If we don't put the time or energy into the things that are important to us, we can't expect to have good results. Sometimes, we may get lucky or we may have a lot of talent which can get us by once in a while, but usually you get what you earn. You have to practice to be good at anything you want to do. This investment of time is proportionally rewarded with your score, but it has to be quality time and practice. You need to practice with a purpose and not just hit balls. Have a goal in mind that you want to accomplish each time you practice. There is an old phrase that goes, "The more I practice, the luckier I get."
In life, like golf, to have a good relationship you have to put quality time into it. You can't just show up and expect everything to happen just like you want. You will struggle to make things work, wishing you would have put the time in. Again, it has to be quality time and not just showing up and going through the motions.
We all go through the motions from time to time, but in order to improve we need to put quality time and effort into whatever is important to us. Otherwise, we won't get as lucky. :-)
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Searching for a golf partner
Finding a golfing partner is almost as hard as finding life partner-at least it has been for me. I have had a few guys that I would consider my golfing partners over the years. These are guys who are available at the drop of a hat to go play a round of golf, guys who think of asking you when they have a special golf event, or when they need a partner for a team event. The problem is that circumstances change and people move away, and it seems like I am always looking for a golf partner.
Here are my guidelines when looking for a golf partner: (They are similar to what you would look for in a life partner.)
1. A passion for the game. This means that they have to be thinking about playing golf even when they are not playing just like you need to be thinking of your partner when you are not with them. They set up a time to play again as soon as possible just like you would set up a date with someone important.
2. Similar schedules to facilitate getting together as much as possible. Need I say more.
3. Sense of humor. In golf, like life we have to be able to laugh at ourselves and at others.
4. Complimentary personality. I look at this 2 ways. First, you need to have similar personalities to get along, but I also feel that you need to look for things that you can complement your partner on-then do it! Sometimes it is hard to get the focus off of yourself, but when you do the partnership is better.
5. Tempered competiveness. It is ok to be competive with your partner, but when the game is done always shake hands and say nice game. Remember, it is just a game and just like with your partner, it is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Although I once heard the quote, "Golf is not just a game, it is much more important than that."
6. Honesty. Golf is the only game where you call penalties on yourself because sometimes you are the only one who sees it. Nothing is worse than playing with someone who tries to cheat by moving his ball or saying he got a lower score than what he actually got. The same is obviously true about your relationship with your spouse. If you screw up, admit it and call a penalty on yourself and apologize.
7. Have fun. It may sound like a simple and easy request, but if you have seen some golfers you will know what I mean. They get angry at the littlest things and swear or throw clubs and it can ruin a perfectly good day. If you didn't hit bad shots, you would be playing with Tiger and Phil and the boys not in Mesa, AZ. In a relationship, sometimes you just have to get over yourself and be glad that you have someone who loves you and puts up with your faults.
8. Being humble about their accomplishments and not bragging about how good they are, and willing teach to try to make the other person better.
9. Work hard and don't give up no matter how bad you are playing. It is no fun for anybody if you are just going through the motions while your partner is trying hard. They can't enjoy the game when they see that you don't care.
10. Be willing to give and take. It doesn't always have to be the same person calling to make a tee time or choosing where and when you play. Both sides need to be involved in making the choices of the partnership.
Nowhere in my list of qualities that I want in a golfing partner is there a requirement that they have to be as good as you, or better than you or worse than you. The same is true about your life partner. It doesn't matter what they look like as long as they have the other qualities on the list. If they don't maybe you need to show them how to be a good partner. I know that if you try to be a good partner, it is easier to find a partner that is willing to be a good partner too.
Play golf!!!
Here are my guidelines when looking for a golf partner: (They are similar to what you would look for in a life partner.)
1. A passion for the game. This means that they have to be thinking about playing golf even when they are not playing just like you need to be thinking of your partner when you are not with them. They set up a time to play again as soon as possible just like you would set up a date with someone important.
2. Similar schedules to facilitate getting together as much as possible. Need I say more.
3. Sense of humor. In golf, like life we have to be able to laugh at ourselves and at others.
4. Complimentary personality. I look at this 2 ways. First, you need to have similar personalities to get along, but I also feel that you need to look for things that you can complement your partner on-then do it! Sometimes it is hard to get the focus off of yourself, but when you do the partnership is better.
5. Tempered competiveness. It is ok to be competive with your partner, but when the game is done always shake hands and say nice game. Remember, it is just a game and just like with your partner, it is a small thing in the grand scheme of things. Although I once heard the quote, "Golf is not just a game, it is much more important than that."
6. Honesty. Golf is the only game where you call penalties on yourself because sometimes you are the only one who sees it. Nothing is worse than playing with someone who tries to cheat by moving his ball or saying he got a lower score than what he actually got. The same is obviously true about your relationship with your spouse. If you screw up, admit it and call a penalty on yourself and apologize.
7. Have fun. It may sound like a simple and easy request, but if you have seen some golfers you will know what I mean. They get angry at the littlest things and swear or throw clubs and it can ruin a perfectly good day. If you didn't hit bad shots, you would be playing with Tiger and Phil and the boys not in Mesa, AZ. In a relationship, sometimes you just have to get over yourself and be glad that you have someone who loves you and puts up with your faults.
8. Being humble about their accomplishments and not bragging about how good they are, and willing teach to try to make the other person better.
9. Work hard and don't give up no matter how bad you are playing. It is no fun for anybody if you are just going through the motions while your partner is trying hard. They can't enjoy the game when they see that you don't care.
10. Be willing to give and take. It doesn't always have to be the same person calling to make a tee time or choosing where and when you play. Both sides need to be involved in making the choices of the partnership.
Nowhere in my list of qualities that I want in a golfing partner is there a requirement that they have to be as good as you, or better than you or worse than you. The same is true about your life partner. It doesn't matter what they look like as long as they have the other qualities on the list. If they don't maybe you need to show them how to be a good partner. I know that if you try to be a good partner, it is easier to find a partner that is willing to be a good partner too.
Play golf!!!
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
A Great Idea
As I was driving to work today I was reminded of an idea that I came up with years ago that I thought I would share. Now I consider myself a good driver as do most people, but I have some proof to back it up. I have never had a ticket in my adult life!!! Not many people can say that. This does not mean that I have never broken the speed limit, but I must do it at the right times. The few times I have been pulled over, I have been able to get off with a warning. Based on that criteria I would be one of the few people who would be able to use my idea.
Here it is: It is a remote control device that I could use when someone on the road is being an idiot. For example, if there was someone driving in the fast lane at less than the maximum speed, I would be able to push a button forcing them to pull over to the side of the road. Then they would have to read on a computer screen what they were doing wrong before they would be able to get back on the road. This would be a way to educate poor drivers, AND get them out of my way. Have you ever waited to pull out from a parking lot and a car was coming from your left and it turned right in front of you WITHOUT SIGNALLING? Push the button and have them learn a lesson on courtesy before they can go on with their business.
The person who thinks turn signals are only for other people would soon learn that they need to use them too or they will spend a lot of time on the side of the road. How about the kid who thinks that the freeway is his own personal racetrack? As he is dodging in and out of traffic thinking he is on the NASCAR circuit, pull him over with the control and force him to listen to elevator music while learning courtious driving procedures.
Only people who have proven themselves as excellent drivers would have access to my device. You would have to show that you know how to use turn signals on a regular basis, how to pull over from the fast lane when faster cars approach, how to not pull in front of someone and then turn quickly, how to merge and how to let others merge. You would not be the person who sees that he has to merge ahead and continues in the faster lane passing cars who have already pulled over into the correct lane. That person would have to pull over and would have a sign over his car that would say that he was being rude and that he was sorry for thinking he was too good to have to wait like everybody else.
The device will be installed in all cars and will force the poor driver to pull over. There is no option. He would have to read why he was pulled over and then pass a courtesy test to be able to get on with his business. Hopefully, by learning that what he has done was a mistake would help him to be a better driver in the future.
Some drivers (mostly old people) would spend half their days pulled over to the side of the road learning what mistakes they made, and maybe it would help them see that they shouldn't be driving any more. I think it is my responsibility to help others be better, more courteous drivers, and I would take it seriously, but it would be a lot of fun watching someone's car pulling over and they are wondering why and who did it to them.
Bottom line is better drivers AND more fun for me.
Here it is: It is a remote control device that I could use when someone on the road is being an idiot. For example, if there was someone driving in the fast lane at less than the maximum speed, I would be able to push a button forcing them to pull over to the side of the road. Then they would have to read on a computer screen what they were doing wrong before they would be able to get back on the road. This would be a way to educate poor drivers, AND get them out of my way. Have you ever waited to pull out from a parking lot and a car was coming from your left and it turned right in front of you WITHOUT SIGNALLING? Push the button and have them learn a lesson on courtesy before they can go on with their business.
The person who thinks turn signals are only for other people would soon learn that they need to use them too or they will spend a lot of time on the side of the road. How about the kid who thinks that the freeway is his own personal racetrack? As he is dodging in and out of traffic thinking he is on the NASCAR circuit, pull him over with the control and force him to listen to elevator music while learning courtious driving procedures.
Only people who have proven themselves as excellent drivers would have access to my device. You would have to show that you know how to use turn signals on a regular basis, how to pull over from the fast lane when faster cars approach, how to not pull in front of someone and then turn quickly, how to merge and how to let others merge. You would not be the person who sees that he has to merge ahead and continues in the faster lane passing cars who have already pulled over into the correct lane. That person would have to pull over and would have a sign over his car that would say that he was being rude and that he was sorry for thinking he was too good to have to wait like everybody else.
The device will be installed in all cars and will force the poor driver to pull over. There is no option. He would have to read why he was pulled over and then pass a courtesy test to be able to get on with his business. Hopefully, by learning that what he has done was a mistake would help him to be a better driver in the future.
Some drivers (mostly old people) would spend half their days pulled over to the side of the road learning what mistakes they made, and maybe it would help them see that they shouldn't be driving any more. I think it is my responsibility to help others be better, more courteous drivers, and I would take it seriously, but it would be a lot of fun watching someone's car pulling over and they are wondering why and who did it to them.
Bottom line is better drivers AND more fun for me.
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